Ho-ho-ho: Christmas Songs With a Horsey Twist

Horse & Rider readers share their own (rather clever!) holiday-carol lyrics.

In the mood for some Christmas music? Got you covered. Here are some holiday classics to which witty H&R readers have added horsey lyrics. (Prepare to hum!)

Jingle Bells

Cleaning up the barn

The tack room is a mess

I broke my nail, oh darn

And I am in distress.

The horse is bathed in mud

The water pipes are ice

I just fell right down in crud 

And there are so many mice

[Spoken: Eating the food, that is.]

Oh, Christmas Time

Christmas Time

My horses are a mess!

I am clothed in dust and dirt

And my family's in distress.

Christmas Time

Christmas Time

Oh, when will this all end?

Clothes to mend

And my whip is bent

Oh, I love this time of year!

--Emily Carter

The Twelve Days of Christmas (#1)

On the twelfth day of winter, my true love sent to me

twelve tons of grass hay,

eleven inches new snow,

ten stalls to muck out,

nine hungry horses,

eight icy walkways,

seven heaters humming,

six broken buckets,

five fro-zen tanks...

four flat tires,

three drenched coats,

two muddy boots,

and a cold, bare, leafless apple tree.

--Gena Loper

The Twelve Days of Christmas (#2)

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

12 John Deeres shining

11 feed mills milling

10 tons of coastal

9 broodmares foaling

8 roans a-cutting

7 buckskins sliding

6 colts by Sun Frost

5 Scamp-er clones...

4 harnessed Belgians

3 ranch hands

2 big barns

and a pasture lined with lovely shade trees.

--Jennifer Rogers

Closeup of a handsome bay horse wearing a Santa hat.

'Twas the Night Before Show Day...

Twas the night before show day at Rolling Ridge Farm

Every creature was stirring, yes even a mouse

The bridles were hung at each stall with great care

In hopes that a rider soon would be there

The horse were all nestled all snug in their stalls

While visions of Mocha Munchies danced in their heads

Now were all in the saddle and Tatum has her crop

Away we all go for a cold winter ride

When out in the arena there arose such a clatter

We sprang from our mounts to see what was the matter

The moon on the ground of the new fallen snow

Gave the luster of midday to objects aglow

When what to our wondering eyes should appear,

But a vertical jump she expects us to clear!

So, away down the rail did we trot in a flash

And in perfect two-point we did as she asked

She's a little riding instructor, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment she must be real sweet

More rapid that eagles, her coursers they came,

And she whistled and shouted and called them by name:

"Now Jacki! Now Jackson!

Now Smokey and Windy!

On Willliam! On Biscuit!

On Lexie and Polly!

Now Ellie! Now, Alice!

Now Libby! and Gracen!

On, Megan! On Chandler!

On, Chapman! and Emily!

To the top of the Brush!

To the top of the Wall!

Now, canter! Canter!

Canter you all!"

And then, in a twinkling, I heard it so clear

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof

As I lifted my head and was turning around,

Over the Oxer she came with a bound.

She turned on her Thoroughbred and to her team gave a whistle

And away they all did trot like the down of a thistle

But I heard her exclaim as she rode out of sight

Blue ribbons to all and to all a good ride!

--Angela Black

The Twelve Days of Christmas (#3)

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

twelve issues of Horse & Rider!

eleven degrees by morning

ten inches of snow

nine winter gloves (lost one)

eight polar fleece sheets

seven brand new brushes

six bags of shavings

five mid-weight blankets

four bales of grass hay

three more months of winter

two tank heaters

and a pitchfork in a shadetree.

--J. Doskal

Share your creative horsey holiday song lyrics with us by zipping an email to horseandrider@aimmedia.com.