In the mood for some Christmas music? Got you covered. Here are some holiday classics to which witty H&R readers have added horsey lyrics. (Prepare to hum!)
Cleaning up the barn
The tack room is a mess
I broke my nail, oh darn
And I am in distress.
The horse is bathed in mud
The water pipes are ice
I just fell right down in crud
And there are so many mice
[Spoken: Eating the food, that is.]
Oh, Christmas Time
My horses are a mess!
I am clothed in dust and dirt
And my family’s in distress.
Oh, when will this all end?
Clothes to mend
And my whip is bent
Oh, I love this time of year!
The Twelve Days of Christmas (#1)
On the twelfth day of winter, my true love sent to me
twelve tons of grass hay,
eleven inches new snow,
ten stalls to muck out,
nine hungry horses,
eight icy walkways,
seven heaters humming,
six broken buckets,
five fro-zen tanks…
four flat tires,
three drenched coats,
two muddy boots,
and a cold, bare, leafless apple tree.
The Twelve Days of Christmas (#2)
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
12 John Deeres shining
11 feed mills milling
10 tons of coastal
9 broodmares foaling
8 roans a-cutting
7 buckskins sliding
6 colts by Sun Frost
5 Scamp-er clones…
4 harnessed Belgians
3 ranch hands
2 big barns
and a pasture lined with lovely shade trees.
‘Twas the Night Before Show Day…
Twas the night before show day at Rolling Ridge Farm
Every creature was stirring, yes even a mouse
The bridles were hung at each stall with great care
In hopes that a rider soon would be there
The horse were all nestled all snug in their stalls
While visions of Mocha Munchies danced in their heads
Now were all in the saddle and Tatum has her crop
Away we all go for a cold winter ride
When out in the arena there arose such a clatter
We sprang from our mounts to see what was the matter
The moon on the ground of the new fallen snow
Gave the luster of midday to objects aglow
When what to our wondering eyes should appear,
But a vertical jump she expects us to clear!
So, away down the rail did we trot in a flash
And in perfect two-point we did as she asked
She’s a little riding instructor, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment she must be real sweet
More rapid that eagles, her coursers they came,
And she whistled and shouted and called them by name:
“Now Jacki! Now Jackson!
Now Smokey and Windy!
On Willliam! On Biscuit!
On Lexie and Polly!
Now Ellie! Now, Alice!
Now Libby! and Gracen!
On, Megan! On Chandler!
On, Chapman! and Emily!
To the top of the Brush!
To the top of the Wall!
Now, canter! Canter!
Canter you all!”
And then, in a twinkling, I heard it so clear
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof
As I lifted my head and was turning around,
Over the Oxer she came with a bound.
She turned on her Thoroughbred and to her team gave a whistle
And away they all did trot like the down of a thistle
But I heard her exclaim as she rode out of sight
Blue ribbons to all and to all a good ride!
The Twelve Days of Christmas (#3)
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
twelve issues of Horse & Rider!
eleven degrees by morning
ten inches of snow
nine winter gloves (lost one)
eight polar fleece sheets
seven brand new brushes
six bags of shavings
five mid-weight blankets
four bales of grass hay
three more months of winter
two tank heaters
and a pitchfork in a shadetree.
Share your creative horsey holiday song lyrics with us by zipping an email to [email protected].