“Why do you insist on injuring the same leg?” It’s been four times in the last 10 months.

Credit: Illustration by Navah Rae Adams

Nyssa Sheridan, Wisconsin

“What did you do before I got you?” My mare was 17 when I acquired her, and I’ve been trying to figure out what she was trained to do.

Alexis Settler, Michigan

“Why is a big, strong, powerful horse like you frightened by small, harmless things?” I’d ask that of my handsome Quarter Horse gelding, Harley.

Maureen Heaney, New York

“Girl, why are you so sassy to the geldings in the barn?” I’d ask that of Frost, the Paint mare I lease. She’s a diva.

Kayla Murphy, New York

“Is there anything more I can do to make your life better?” How wonderful if we had just one hour to chat! I’d also tell my horse how much I appreciate him.

Dee Whitt, Arizona

“What can I do to make your golden years more joyful?” My Tennessee Walking Horse, Romeo, is 26 years old and a two-time rescue. He’s seen everything that shouldn’t be done to a Walking Horse and deserves a grand retirement.

Cathy Mumford Shelton, Tennessee

“Why do you do ‘crocodile mouth’ (lips open wide) when I give you a treat?” I’d ask this of my trainer’s mare, Princess.

Nicole Fincher, Colorado

“How were you trained?” I’d ask this of my 11-year-old Paso Fino gelding. Of my 15-year-old Shetland mare, I’d ask, “Why do you hate driving?”

Hanni Thurn, Utah

“What would you wear if you were a human?” I always say that if she were human, my mare would wear a gray suit with a blue tie and carry a briefcase. I’d want to see if my hunch was right.

Madilyn Fisher, Indiana

“Does anything hurt?” After that, I’d ask my rescued Tennessee Walking Horse gelding his life’s story—before he was abandoned in a field.

Bev Hart, Tennessee

“Really, Reddy?!”

Kendal Stokes, North Carolina

“What’s your favorite feed, and favorite treat?” Then my gelding would be even more spoiled.

Tess Hegarty, Oregon

“Are you cozier wearing a heavy blanket in the wintertime, or do you stay warm enough using what Mother Nature gave you?”

Kelli Richardson, Maine

“Do you hurt anywhere?”

Bev Ritter, Washington State

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