You’ve found the perfect horse for your child. Ensure that the expectations you and your young rider have align with what’s reasonable to start your journey.

Finding the perfect horse for your child can seem like a monumental undertaking that, once accomplished, should lead to blue ribbons and instant horse-show gratification. I see it all the time in my business finding horses and coaching youth riders. While it’s exciting to think about your child’s first show or playdate with a new horse, I encourage parents and kids to pump the brakes and realize a few expectations that might not lead to the best first experience together.

[Bob Avila’s Tips for Youth Riders]

Here, I’ll share four key unreasonable expectations and why you should reevaluate.

Expectation: We’re Ready to Compete!

Reality: It’s exciting to get the horse and think about all the things you’re going to do with him. Before you get carried away, take a breath. Rushing into your child’s first competition or event is a sure way to a negative experience. It takes time for a child to connect with a horse, even if your rider isn’t a total novice. You’ll need to spend time figuring out the horse’s “buttons,” learning what how he responds to your child’s cues, and developing a connection. It’s like buying the best guitar in the shop and, without any lessons, thinking you can play it.

Take your time—as much as you need and more—so that you’re 110% ready when you haul to your first competition. Set attainable goals, choose which one or two events your child can focus on, and trust the process.

Expectation: We Can Enter Everything.

Reality: When you set out to buy this horse, what were your parameters for his future? Did you seek and buy a Western pleasure-type horse? Then focus on preparing for those types of events instead of expecting to enter every class at the show. Focus on one or two events, and master them at home and eventually at a show. As you get to know your horse, you can possibly add events to his arsenal, but throwing everything at him and your child at once is a blueprint for trouble.

Expectation: We Can Do It Alone.

Reality: You and your child will have a much better experience if you involve a professional on some level. Whether the horse is in full training at a show barn or kept at home, lessons, insights, and education are just a few of the invaluable things a pro brings to the table. Additionally, kids sometimes need a little space from their parents’ rules and expectations, and a skilled trainer can adapt to your child’s needs and learning style. Whether you board at the barn, haul in for lessons, or your trainer makes house calls, a professional will be a valuable partner.

Expectation: We Can Have Fun!

Reality: Yes! Every step of the process can still be fun, even if you’re taking it slowly. When your barnmates go to a show, join them! Expose your child to the events they’ll someday compete in. Expose them to the entire process, from getting up early to hauling to the event to getting accustomed to a new facility. When it feels right, bring the horse along so your child can experience the warm-up pen and see what they need to work on at home. That kind of exposure sets everyone up for success and eases anxieties your child might have.